Unfinished Thoughts

I've been learning some about pluralism and post modernism and evangelism and tolerance (this one is killing us I think) and peacemakers and truth and LOVE. For the one or two humans who even read this try not to get too lost. I'm not going to edit this for flowingness?

The baby in the manger is God risking his unconditional LOVE on the world. The passion of Jesus, the story of the cross, becomes the ultimate sacrifice of LOVE even at the risk of fully knowing there will be some who reject His offer of LOVE. Death was defeated when Christ rose from the tomb. That power, that life (that risked LOVE and conquered death) is now given to those who believe. This is the gospel (The Good News): It can be many things. My thoughts...

Jesus offers eternal life in only that we follow Him alone. We are made to be dependent but my inclination is to be focused first on myself. My society says "me" first. My society says truth is relative. Jesus said: "I tell you the truth..." He said he was the son of God and that he is "the way, the truth and the life". I believe this. Am I close-minded? The Good news of Christ says we no longer need to strive for fulfillment. The Good news of Christ says we are no longer separated from God. The good news of Christ says we can come to know God more deeply, love Him more intimately. The good news of Christ says to "LOVE your neighbor as yourself." If the "Church" (those who really follow Jesus) loved others half as much as we love ourselves sh-t would go down.

"Take every thought captive." Am I truly heart broken - willing to cast myself into hell if others could be saved? This is what Jesus did for all of us. In word and in deed I must reflect this. I don't. My society says I am close minded. My society says I only have the trunk of the elephant and that I am on the same path as Buddha, Joseph Smith, Muhammad, and nature. I might be a blind folded fool but my King sees all. I was dead and I have been given life and my King tells me that His son is THE truth.

I receive grace from God to move on when I fail and to move forward to love my neighbors.

Jesus said: " It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Should we not also share our lives, as a living Gospel (good news) of Christ, with them (neighbors)? There is something to be said about good news. People should want to hear it.

My society says that the good news I have heard isn't based in science so it is false. My society says the life I have been given is a false feeling. My society will hear the good news I have been given and will call it judgemental, devisive, impeding, intolerant. Isn't that how truth works sometimes? If we are presented a truth that is completely against our lifestyle or beliefs it should rub off us in a weird way. It should challenge our thoughts, revolutionize our thinking.

I believe Jesus brought that truth to the world. He said it would challenge the way the world thinks. His truth will challenge what things have value on this earth. Tolerance next to anything else seems to be more crippling to the world than seeking TRUTH.

He called me. I answered. I have friends who have heard Him call their name. I pray that they answer.

God, forgive me when I do not love as you do. Counselor, helper - teach and guide me. Show me how to love like you have loved me. I pray the good news drips sweet on the lips of every man and woman. You are the Good Shepherd.

"Perelandra"

The second installment of C.S. Lewis' space trilogy, Perelandra, is even better than the first. This time Dr. Ransom is sent to Perelandra, what us Thulcandrians (earthlings) call Venus. This book is a re-told story of Adam and Eve and the battle that took place between good and evil during "the fall". Read it and let me know what you think. Jeff, you definitely need to read these books. Jesse and/or Richard I'm just starting the 3rd book; one of you mentioned I would like it for some reason.

Here's a quote from the thoughts of Dr. Ransom in his realization of why he was sent to Perelandra:

"My name also is Ransom," said the Voice.
It was some time before the purport of this saying dawned upon him. He whom the other worlds call Maleldil (God), was the world's ransom, his own ransom, well he knew. But to what purpose was it said now? Before the answer came to him he felt its insufferable approach and held out his arms before him as if he could keep it from forcing open the door of his mind. But it came. So that was the real issue. If he now failed, this world also would hereafter be redeemed. If he were not the ransom, Another would be. Yet nothing was ever repeated. Not a second crucifixion: perhaps - who knows - not even a second Incarnation...some act of even more appalling love, some glory of yet deeper humility. For he had seen already how the pattern grows and how from each world it sprouts into the next through some other dimension. The small external evil which Satan had done in Malacandra (Mars) was only as a line: the deeper evil he had done in Earth was as a square: if Venus fell, her evil would be a cube - her Redemption beyond conceiving. Yet redeemed she would be.

Shalom,

Seth Leighton Knox

Why God Spoke To Me...

"Eric, sit down. Nobody wants to look at you. Don't talk. Just write in your book."

So. I'm going to take a step back into my life and look at it from when I was given new life in Jesus. This is why God spoke to me...

When: December 30, 2006
Where: St. Louis, MO (Hotel Bathroom at Urbana)
Why: Thought it would be a cool experience (Anneliese and Angela also said it would be awesome)

The theme for that week at Urbana was taken from Ephesians 4: "Live a life worthy of the calling". Ironically, until my small group Bible study this last week (October 14th, 2008), even though 22,000 people - including myself - at Urbana studied the book of Ephesians during the conference, I hadn't realized that the theme had come from Ephesians. Now, the reason I'm sharing this is because my life was interrupted on December 30, 2008 by a man named Jesus.

I was at point in my life - coming to that conference - where I was in complete despair about my life. I had no idea what I wanted to study at school, I felt disconnected from most of my friends and family, and I was trapped in sin that I didn't know what to do with because I didn't know Jesus (truly). I remember before that day (the exact time was 2AM) thinking to myself: "Well if the theme for the week is 'Live a life worthy of the calling' then shouldn't I get my calling and know what to do with life?"

With all my emotions about life and the future building up, I talked with a friend that night and we prayed together. I remember after praying that she had said: "God, if Seth hasn't given anything to you, show him what it is and let him give it to you." As I went back to my hotel room I continued to think about what she had said. I got into bed while those words continued to resonate with me. At that moment I heard a voice.

Kneel and Pray.

"No!"

Kneel and Pray.

"No! Andy is right next to me asleep. Theo is on the ground. I won't let them see me kneeling. They'll think I'm a freak weirdo or something."

(10 minutes later)

Kneel and Pray.

"Fine! I'll do it but I'm going in the bathroom so they don't see me if they wake up."

At this point I realized I had been arguing with God. I knelt in the bathroom. Instantly, I was struck with God's overwhelming presence. I couldn't control my body and I broke down into tears. I wasn't much a crier until then. I realized from praying with my friend that I hadn't given my life to Jesus. So, I told Him He could take all my burdens and troubles. He could take my sins and my despair. Three minutes later I was completely changed. I was free for the first time in my life. I blew my nose, wiped my eyes and went back to bed. God wasn't done.

Right after I laid back into bed He spoke aloud to me: Teach

"Ok God, I'm tired. I'll think about that in the morning."

The next day I woke up and after worshipping with 22,000 other people I went to the prayer room. I texted my dad to pray for me because I didn't know what to do with what had happened the night before. In the prayer room I decided it might be a good idea to see what the Bible had to say about teaching - especially since the Bible is kind of a big deal in following Jesus. So I looked up teaching in the back of my reference pages. It didn't have teaching but I saw the word talents and thought, "Well teaching is a talent I guess." The reference page then said see gifts - at this point I still hadn't gotten any verse or definition from what God had spoken to me the night before. Finally, under gifts there was a reference to Ephesians 4: 7-13. I thought to myself, "Huh, I don't remember what that verse says but I know we looked at it earlier this week."

This is what Ephesians 4: 7-13 says: "But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. This is why it says: When he ascended on high, he led captives in his train and gave gifts to men. (What does he ascended mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ."

It hit me. This was the first time God had used scripture to speak into my life. And he wanted me to be a TEACHER. I didn't know exactly what that would entail and I still don't fully understand it. However, God had given me my calling and now I had to figure out what it meant to live a life worthy of the call to TEACH. So, that next semester I switched into Elementary Education. I had bumps along the way during my sophomore year about whether or not this was really for me or if elementary was the right place - within education - for me. God led me back to it time and time again through friends, his Word, and several kids (5th Graders) that I have/am tutoring. (Realize that "teach" could stem to church land as well for all I know but I went to the quickest way I knew to start teaching - a college degree).

My junior year has definitely gotten me more excited about teaching. My classes and teachers are demanding but my love for teaching and love of kids more than makes up for the late nights and stressful days while in the College of Education. I get to learn about child development and how children acquire languages at such a young age. It's incredible! I have also had the opportunity to work with a tutoring program at UofA for in-class experience before I graduate. I've met some interesting faculty and some incredible kids. One student I connected with last year was from Cameroon; his name is Defang and if I was at Roskruge he was always with me asking me questions, seeking help on homework, and joking around with me.

I'm back at the same school this year. I'm with the same teacher but all the students I met last year are in the 6th grade now (they seem so much bigger...mom, now I know how you feel looking at me grow). I've met a whole new class this year and they are great. They goof off like all 5th graders do but they still have a desire to learn that hasn't been snuffed out yet by teenage drama and distractions. It's exciting. This year, however, I've been challenged physically, mentally, and spiritually by them. The reason I even decided to write this blog was due to two specific boys who have shown me why God called me to TEACH and how he wants to be involved in this with me...RIGHT NOW!

The quote from the beginning of my blog was yelled to a student named Eric by his teacher. He's only seeking love and the attention a child needs. His teacher is split 30 ways in that. I do the best I can.

"Fuck all this. I don't give a shit about this or anything."

A talked with another student just today (read above quote) and he let out his true feelings. He's expressed that he has had troubles at home. I can sense in him and in Eric that they are just two children who haven't received even the most basic love and attention a child needs. They react to this by being disruptive in class.

I've learned many good and bad things about running a class from my teacher. However, I've learned more from these students than any professor or lecture could teach me.

I've also come to the realization that God wants to be involved right now in my pursuits to live out his calling for my life. He wants his children to be loved. He wants families to be healed. He wants everyone I do and will come into contact with to be uplifted and loved. He wants the UofA campus to seek his truth and become free.

While looking back at all these experiences from the past 2 years, God is now leading me into the latter part of Ephesians 4:7-13. Since I have heard his calling for my life and have realized he wants to be intimately involved in it, he now calls me to "prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ."

This may mean building up children in a classroom in the United States. Loving them and letting them experience the overwhelming love of God through my efforts as a giver of knowledge.

This may mean building up people in another country spiritually and educationally so they can improve their life.

This may mean becoming involved in youth or adult ministry in the church.

But - whatever God has for me from Ephesians 4 I know it is good. It is life-giving. It is my calling. I now live in the reality of God's kingdom on earth and the impact he wants me to have in His kingdom while living a life "worthy of the calling I have received".

"O Great Light, I turn to you."

Go and teach my son...


Shalom,

Seth Leighton Knox

"Out of the Silent Planet"

Written by C.S. Lewis, this is the first installment of his Space Trilogy. If you are into science fiction and C.S. Lewis this book is for you. I liked it and I'm just starting the 2nd book. Here's a quote by characters from the book named Weston (human)and Oyarsa (Malacandrian):

Weston: "You now very few...soon all die."

"Yes," said Oyarsa, "but one thing we left behind us on the harandra: fear. And with fear, murder and rebellion. The weakest of my people does not fear death. It is the Bent One, the lord of your world, who wastes your lives and befouls them with flying from what you know will overtake you in the end. If you were subjects of Maleldil you would have peace."

Kneel

"His lightening lights up the world; the earth sees and trembles."

Northeast - - 4th Floor
Under the Lockbox
Hidden in the soft light

We are terrified.
We are ashamed.

"Blessed is the man who fears the Lord..."

We are men, God's beloved.

"Be holy, because I am holy."

By the Lake of Sleeping Children

Cuquis can read. She pores over a Bible the missionaries have given her. "Listen to this," she says. " ' Let the rich man glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with a scorching wind and withers the grass. And its flower falls off. And the beauty of its appearance is destroyed. So too the rich man in his pursuits will fade away.' "

Several of the women mutter, "Amen."

"Good old Jesus Christ," Cuca says. "He'll kick the shit out of those rich bastards."

A Psalms Inspired Life Goal

Since the end of May I have decided to partake in a Nazarite Vow (See Numbers 6 for reference). I’m not following every specific requirement mentioned in that passage but I have selected various parts of my life to sacrifice for the year to follow. I chose these things to challenge the way that I view, live, seek and follow God. I won’t mention them hear except for one – which will explain the title. One of my commitments to God in this vow is to memorize one Psalm a month for the year. (Yes, that totals 12 Psalms for all you math haters). And I plan to remember these for the rest of my life. I’m on my fourth Pslam – 97 – and it is a good one if you are looking for a Psalm to pray about, memorize. It describes God in his most awesome forms and how his power and righteousness deserve our praise. I’m getting a little wordy so I will get to the point.

By the end of this year I will have at least 12 Psalms memorized by heart. In this year of growth I’m waiting to see if this is something I can continue throughout my life (maybe not every month) to the point where I would have the whole book or most of it memorized. This now leads me into a life goal that I have set for myself.

Reading, praying, singing, and studying Psalms for me is an incredible and life-changing way to worship God. Now, transition time to an aside that is not random, I cannot remember for the life of me who told me this but when I mentioned to him that I was going to memorize Psalms he told me a story, a myth, and/or a historical fact…I do not know for sure. In this story he told, Jewish priests, rabbis, and regular Jewish men would go out to the sea at low tide and stand out in the water until low tide would return. This would mean water would slowly cover their bodies (hopefully not completely) and slowly return back to low tide. In this time these men would recite every Psalm that they knew. I’m assuming it would take hours upon hours to recite the whole book of Psalms so they would do as many as they could during the tide change. And in that time they would be praising God.

That is one of my life goals. Ever since I made a decision to follow Jesus it has always intrigued me to seek out new, extreme ways to follow and worship Jesus. I want to move past the mundane and live radically. This, for me, is a form of that lifestyle. So we’ll see how old I am before I get to do this but there it is - my life goal inspired by Jewish men who love God.

Kudos if you actually read this.

Blessings and Shalom,

Seth Leighton Knox